It goes without saying

That finding the will or the inspiration to write and breathe life into my poor neglected blog has been an unsurmountable challenge. The grind and pull of daily life is indeed relentless. It's not made any easier when you're raising a wee one on your own.

I have however, have had the delight of an unexpected visit from a dear old friend miss sal sal from oz this week. It's been so lovely to see her. It's funny how having her back in town for a week has made me realise just how lonely I've been here. It's a huge anonamous city... it's kind of like quick sand, in that before you know it you can be swallowed up and disappear. Added to the fact that I certainly find it hard to ask for help from the friends I do have makes it an even greater challenge to keep my head above the sand. Life is all about balance and acheiving that here is proving the biggest challenge of my life.

However, this week in celebration of miss andrea's b'day , sal sal andrea and I trapsed off to the So spa in st james for a day of pampering. What a delightful and luxurious day. Pathetic i know but i felt both so happy and so sad during the whole time. Delighted that i was with my friends but sad as I miss so much my old life where we were all together in London... so true in that you don't know how good something is until it's gone. Well, we hot tubbed gossiped, got massaged, had a very delish afternoon tea and then rounded off the day with a delish cocktail at the charlotte st hotel.

One week left of the grind before wee me and I jet off to Canadialandia to visit the family. One sneaky week in cuba tucked in the middle to truly relax. What a year it's been... lots of tears lots of challenges and lots of successes... I'm praying that next year will be a year of calm, joy and renewed faith in love and all that is good.

Little Madame

Is growing like a weed! She's such a pretty thing (okay I'm allowed to say that i'm her mum). She's started tennis lessons (whith the hope that one day she will play with me).

My office is awash of burgeoning bellies as two of my colleagues are now expecting. Luke and Helena (my friends who I set up with one and other years ago) are expecting their first bebe in a few weeks! I'm so delighted for all of them. I am not certain I could ever go through it all again... I'm really enjoying having a little partner in crime with Sienna. Now that she's older she truly is a lovely companion. She says the most delightful things at times, I can fall about with laughter. She told her teacher the other day that she wanted to be a Doctor so she could buy a house with a swimming pool. She also laughed at me the other day when i was answering her question about what our friend Char's husband's job was. As I was telling her, she burst out laughing and said to me "silly mummy, daddy's don't work only mummies do!" imagine that! I wonder where on earth she got that concept from *cough*.

I've got a weekend of girlie fun ahead. Chiara is here and so is vero, whom I've not seen for a whole year now! I think Autumn is in town too and Eric next week. I guess until I pluck up the pennies to return to Barca for a visit, Barca will quite simply, come to me!

I also have a date with a lovely Canadian bloke this Saturday which I'm really looking forward to. I don't want to jinx it but what a nice guy!




Sienna sends you a hug!

I admit it

Posh bin has made life fabulous... maybe the bar is just really low right now but, man what a difference. I will never go back. I guess it's the same thing after fying in first... economy would seem like something unthinkable.

Back into the weekly grind now. My big project at work still has still not launched yet but another one is building steam... that's the problem in this sort of job... there are never any quiet periods... but it is nice when things come to a tidy finish!

Tennis lessons start for wee me next Saturday... I figure if I can't find a tennis partner, I'll make one! Her racket is so cute. We've been practising already! Swimming started back last week and the swim in the wave pool after the lesson tires us both out. We were delighted to see our new upstairs neighbours there this morning too. It's nice to have some people you know in the same vibe... they're so lovly and had invited us up to theirs last weekend for supper. It makes such a difference to have some adult company on the weekends! The kids enjoy it too so it's a win win situation! Sienna is due to pop upstairs later to play so i may just may get a chance to sneak some painting in!

Counting down the days till xmas... saving pennies so we can go to cuba or mexico while on that side of the pond for a proper break... ambitious, yes... but hey when you've not had a holiday since may 2010 and gone throught what I have then, yes, a necissary luxury!

unlike some people's blogs i often read...

yes i have the guilty admission that I read some people's blogs because I am astounded at how much I dislike them... but it's a love hate thing... they obviously catch my attention enough to make me always read them first when I check in.... but I'm not writing about them I'm writing about how far away different my guilty pleasure luxury purchase this weekend was... it was a bin for my kitchen. I have one of course but it cost 7 quid and I bought it on mare st. but after the ridiculous acceptance that my forever friend denise and my work colleague sevil both extoled the virtues of this bin... I admit I bought one. But only because I got it for 50% off the normal price. It was on sale for 40 quid rather than a hundred... so yes, even writing it feels obscene as really, that much for a bin? But yes, I'm sucker... and the syncher was friday night after work I had sienna with me in the office for a while and she was playing with the very same bin at work... facinated how she oculd open and shut it so easily... dear god am i really trying to justify it? yes, yes I am.

guilty pleasure bin... yes it's sad that pleasure has come to this...


On another note we're really enjoying having our new upstairs neighbours. The loud irish guys got the boot and in came this lovely family that have just sold up their home up the road with a view to finalise their bid on a piece of land in hackney, on which they'll build a new home and a studio to work in (they're both artists). They've got three lovely children! one who is 9 and a set of fraternal twins who are 6. Sienna is of course over the moon that she's got a potential play mate. They ever so kindly invited us to join them and their ex neighbours to supper tonight. Such a lovely bunch. I feel blessed and just that little bit less lonely. Thank you lucky stars.

New neighbours and a posh bin... what more can a simple gal like me ask for?

It's been a whole year now...

Since life as I knew it disintegrated in Barcelona. Alfredo is long gone from all of our lives. It's sad really as the only thing I can liken it to is mourning. He's not dead of course but to us he's gone the concept, the total veil of lies he created are gone forever, so therefore not dissimilar to death. I know it's crazy as the amount of financial and emotional damage he inflicted to Sienna and I along with all my friends and family was horrific, but there are days when I miss him. I know what I miss is the fake him the him that never existed so in that respect I don't think it's harmful. I miss having a partner someone to share life with and enjoy Sienna and Lilli with. I can't begin to explain how much work I've done since last August (with the help of my friends and family) to re-build my life, move countries, start a new job and 'move on'. Having this last month to myself here in London while Sienna holidayed with my family really gave me a lot of perspective... I've been trying to date with the empty hope to find someone to enjoy life with again , alas it's not that easy and nor will it ever be. I know there are stories of beautiful guys who don't care about the woman having a child and that they date, fall in love and live happily ever after... But that reality seems like a far off fairy tale to me...

So instead rather than focusing on trying to meet someone I've resolved to try and sharpen the focus elsewhere in life... get my fitness back, get miss Sienna out and about London and try not to feel so lonely. It's a long process and I'm the first to say it's not easy... but there aren't many other options to hand are there?

Nope... not doing something at all!

Well that was all just a bit silly... Doing something turned out to be doing nothing with any of them! I wrote to 14 people and not a single one wanted to do anything... hmm maybe i've got the cooties? I think I've got small child cooties, no big mystery there really :)

It's a beautiful sunny day and it's been that way all day which is no small feat in this country. I did a nice circut round the park with miss Lilli. Much better than our stroll through yesterday's downpour.

Doing something?

Well this is my last foray into internet dating. I’ve tried a few sites since I moved back to London and all with various results. There are definitely a lot of options to choose from, but since the whole process is a ‘numbers game’ or so my friends keep telling me… Mine is about to be up so after reading about this new site in my guilty weekly girly glossy magazine I couldn’t resist! It’s called http://www.doingsomething.co.uk/ I love the quirky premise and the relaxed design. Early days for them still so it’s free to join and communicate. There aren’t thousands of people on it yet either so we’ll see how it goes. Then in a few week’s time when Sienna is back from her sejour in Canada, I’ll retire from the whole process for a while. It’s quite exhausting emotionally and logistically. But man do I ever have a few stonkers to tell about. Best told over a bottle of red, not so blog suitable when one is naming and shaming!

I’m finally 85% through The Invisible Bridge I’ve been reading for the last 2 months (sad really but that just shows how busy I’ve been). But a leisurely weekend with two lie-ins and afternoon siestas helped things considerably!

Lilli and I have been doing our morning jogs in the park… much to her chagrin of course. It never fails to amuse me at just how ridiculous one looks while jogging with a tiny dog… but the sad truth is that she’s always ahead of me and never tires before I do. We won’t tell anyone about that…

A month of freedom of sorts...

My fabulous mother has whisked miss Sienna off to spend a month in Canada frolicking and playing with her relations. I'm here, with the evil Chihuahua making sure that I get up to plenty of mischief...

Having time entirely to my self after work is hilarious. I honestly feel like a teenager again. I've been enjoying the toils of internet dating, seeing friends... drinking cristal champagne with my work colleagues. Life is good! I could of course use a holiday but a change is sometimes as good as a rest I suppose...

I've re-discovered the joy of a lie-in on the weekend and the delights of early morning walks in the park with Lilli without feeling guilty about dragging Sienna out of bed to come with me!

Best get a move on... only a few days more left of this new found freedom.... shopping with miss Andrea awaits after the collection of her new fabulously re-set blue diamond that has become the 'engagement' ring that goes with her wedding band! giggle!